Confessions of a Starbucks Barista

“Lemme getta one Carmelo Frappe with extra extra caramel.”

This one order haunts any barista. 

First of all, why are you talking like that?

Second of all, why do you need all that caramel? Your teeth are going to rot. 

Third of all, that’s not even the name of the drink!

Whenever I go to work I try to have a positive outlook. My job is really cool and I have some great coworkers. However, my positive outlook always fails, when I get that one dumb customer.

You know, I get it, not all of us are coffee geniuses. But seriously, at least be nice to me when I’m trying to help you out. Thank God I don’t work in retail because I do not have the patience for it. 

Over the weekend Starbucks had a promotion for all holiday drinks. They were all, buy-one-get-one free! What a freeking nightmare! The line was out the door, with drink orders overflowing. It was pure madness. 

The thing that really killed me about this promotion is the company called it “Happy Hour.” Okay, it wasn’t even an hour, it was three hours, and there was nothing happy about it.

People think being a barista is so easy, and for the most part it is. But, when it comes to customers, they love to yell about every little thing. I mean, if you pay almost six dollars for a drink, of course you want your order to be correct. Not everything is my fault though, don’t yell at me! I’m the wrong person to get an attitude with, trust me. 

Let’s just say I’m glad that promotion is over. 

I’m a closing barista, so it’s my job to set everything up for the morning crew. It’s required that we majorly clean the bathrooms nightly. Talk about disgusting! I hate cleaning them. But, what really kills me is when I have a 'restroom closed' sign on the door, and customers ask if it’s open! Go slap yourself! Can you not read? 

The worst part about cleaning the bathroom is they always smell like poop. I’m a barista not a janitor Starbucks! I should not have to clean bathrooms. 

                In the midst all of the craziness that goes on, the phone is always ringing.

                “Hi thanks for calling Starbucks, this is Madi, how can I help you?”

                “Is this Starbucks?”

Oh my God! I want to hang up the phone when I hear this response. I’m like yeah no shit, I just said Starbucks asswipe. 

                The worst is when people call and hang up right away. I don’t have time for that.

                How could I almost forget the secret menu? They are made up drinks people post on the internet. If we do not have it on our menu, it’s not a real drink. If you know what goes inside of it, I’m more than happy to make it for you. However, it’s going to be pricy. Any addition you add to your drink is at least 60 cents. 

                Honestly, one of the best parts of my job is talking with regular customers. We have some regulars that are super cool. I love talking to them and seeing what’s going on in their life. The best part about regulars is they are super understanding if it’s busy, and appreciate your efforts. If it wasn’t for the regular customers, I would think all customers are mean and cynical.

                All in all, being a barista is cool. There are those people that ruin it completely. But I enjoy creating inspired moments in each customer’s day. Also hearing, “Thank you, it’s delicious, have a good day.” Is something every barista needs to hear. So next time you go into Starbucks, show your barista some love and respect.